Checklist for a death in the family – what to do after a loss

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death checklist

A death in the family is one of the most stressful events you will experience. As you grieve, you face multiple administrative tasks. First, you must make final arrangements. Then you go through probate to settle your loved one’s affairs. And in between, you manage the many little details following a death. However, if you use a checklist for death in the family, you can manage all these responsibilities.

Checklist for a Death in the Family

GET LEGAL PRONOUNCEMENT OF DEATH

When your parent dies in a hospital or medical facility, a doctor or nurse will pronounce the death. If your parent dies at home and does not have hospice care, call 911. Emergency medical personnel will arrive. Although it may not be necessary, alert them about any Do Not Resuscitate Orders. Contact hospice if your parent is under hospice care. Hospice will handle the arrangements for you.

CONTACT FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Notify those who will want to come for a funeral or memorial service. Maintain a contact list with phone numbers and email. Keep in mind, however, that people, especially seniors and close family members, may prefer a phone call rather than a group text or email.

MAKE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS

Contact a funeral home to pick up the body. Go over the funeral arrangements. If you have a pre-planned funeral, it is an easier process. However, confirm the prior details and information.

Look for notes or instructions left behind. Your loved one may have outlined their specific wishes in a Family Information Binder.

SUBMIT AN OBITUARY TO A NEWSPAPER

Provide details of a funeral mass or memorial service. Mention if there is an opportunity to pay respects. Your loved one may prefer contributions to their favorite charity instead of flowers. Include information about how to make donations to the charity.

Note: When you place an obituary, it communicates when and where a funeral or burial is held. Unfortunately, this is an advertisement that family members are not home. Plan to have a friend or neighbor stay at home during the service to thwart any burglars.

OBTAIN DEATH CERTIFICATES

Obtain original death certificates. You will submit these to life insurance companies, the Department of Motor Vehicles, probate court, etc. A funeral home will calculate how many you need and order them for you.

Note: Since there is a cost for each death certificate, try to use a certificate more than once. Ask the companies to return the certificate when they are done.  Provide a self-addressed stamped envelope so they can return the certificate.

CONTACT A ESTATE ATTORNEY

Using the estate attorney who drafted the will is ideal, as they are most familiar with the decedent’s estate, their family, and their wishes. They handle the filing of the will and the probate process. If that attorney is not available, look for an attorney who is well-versed in probate administration.

Note: Although great for Hollywood drama rarely is there a formal “reading of the will.” An estate attorney guides the personal representative regarding estate administration and bequests. For some reason, my clients seem disappointed that their heirs won’t be gathered around a wood-paneled library wondering what they are getting or if they are cut out of the will.

SECURE MAIL AND SAFEGUARD PROPERTY

Secure mail to avoid identity theft. Or have the decedent’s mail forwarded to you. Review bills and bank statements to find out what is owed by the decedent and what is owed to the decedent. Lock up other property or keep property secure until distribution.

PAY BILLS AND REVIEW BANK STATEMENTS

Go through bills and bank statements to determine what needs to be paid. Determine what bank accounts to close and where certain assets are located. Review benefit statements to locate assets. Look for insurance premium bills. They will alert you to potential life insurance policies. Once probate is opened, the personal representative opens up a checking account for the estate and pays the expenses.

ALERT SOCIAL SECURITY TO END BENEFITS

Report the death to the Social Security Administration at 800-772-1213. The funeral director can help you with this.  Determine if a surviving family member, such as a spouse, can collect death benefits, monthly benefits, or a larger Social Security benefit.

CANCEL CREDIT CARDS

Contact all credit card companies to close the decedent’s accounts. This prevents reoccurring charges and penalties. Additionally, it avoids fraudulent charges or identity theft.

NOTIFY CREDIT REPORTING AGENCIES

To prevent identity theft, contact the 3 credit scoring agencies to flag the decedent’s account as “Deceased. Do Not Issue Credit.”

The agencies are:

CLOSE ONLINE AND SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

To date, there is no federal legislation governing digital assets or property of the deceased. Digital assets include websites, blogs, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter accounts, email accounts such as Google, Yahoo, etc. Some states enacted laws to protect those digital assets and allow the fiduciary or personal representatives to manage those assets.

Other states rely on the provider’s terms of service or privacy policies as to who has access to the decedent’s account. Consult your probate attorney about the specific laws in that state. With Facebook, you can delete the decedent’s Facebook account or create a “Memorialized Account” where the account will be retitled “Remembering.” This allows friends and family to leave comments, photos, and memories of the deceased.

CANCEL DRIVER’S LICENSE

Contact the Department of Motor Vehicles to clear the decedent’s name from the DMV records. This stops mailings and prevents fraud.

CONTACT LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES

Complete the form(s) and send the death certificate to the insurance companies. Insurance companies do not notify beneficiaries of benefits even though they know the insured has died. Avoid unclaimed life insurance benefits!

FILE TAX RETURNS

You file certain tax forms depending on the size of the estate. Complete Form 1040 for the taxpayer’s income last year. Additionally, file Form 706 which is the federal estate tax return. This form is due within 9 months of the decedent’s passing. Consult your probate attorney and accountant as to what tax forms need to be filed. 

KEEP CALM

Above all, do not panic with your to-do lists and checklist for a death in the family. Take time for your self-care and set realistic expectations. It is important to note that you do not have to do all of these tasks at once. Follow your checklist for a death in the family over time. Pace yourself. You will get through this.

Parts of this article are excerpts from Estate Planning for the Sandwich Generation: How to Help Your Parents and Protect Your Kids.

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