5 reasons why men don’t make a will
There are many reasons why men don’t make a will. Usually, in my practice, it was the wife who scheduled the appointment and dragged her reluctant spouse to it. By asking a few questions, it was clear there were many misconceptions about estate planning and also a little fear.
However, once the husband reviewed the plan to protect their children, avoid probate, preserve assets and provide security for loved ones, he was firmly on board.
5 REASONS WHY MEN DON’T MAKE A WILL
MEN DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT
Well, clearly, who does? However, I have found men more willing to ignore the cold hard fact that we all die. Some may fear they are tempting fate. If they make a will, they are courting tragedy. However, there is a 100% guarantee that you will die regardless if you made a will or not.
Women are more proactive about estate planning because they know statistically, they are more likely to be widowed. In Andrea Coombes’ article, How Women Can Make Estate Planning Easier, she cites that “36% of women 65 and older are widowed, compared with 12% of men 65 and older, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.” So if you are not the one likely to be left behind, planning may not be first and foremost on your mind.
RM Vaugh, in his article, If You Do One Thing For Your Kids, Plan for Your Death offers this telling quote from a dad: “I don’t care what happens after I die. And I should not have a say in what other people do after I’m dead. They can figure out what they want, I won’t want anything because I’ll be dead.”
However, making a will while you are alive preserves assets that might otherwise be tied up in probate or litigation. Don’t assume your loved ones will “work it out” after you are gone. There may be unintended consequences. If you have a spouse, children, or other dependents, it is important to put an estate plan together to protect them if you died prematurely.
MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND ESTATE PLANNING
As stated earlier, there are many misconceptions about estate planning. People think that you have to be wealthy. Or it is overly complex. Or it is something to think about only if you are facing death.
Estate planning has as much to do with incapacity as death. According to the Social Security Administration, “Studies show that a 20-year-old worker has a 1-in-4 chance of becoming disabled before reaching full retirement age.”[i]
Therefore, men should look into financial power of attorney, medical power of attorney, advanced medical directives, as well as a will. These documents provide people to step in and make decisions when they are unable due to incapacity.
Additionally, there are a lot of mistaken beliefs about estate planning. For example, that it is very complicated. Many clients find out that putting together a solid estate plan is easier than putting together documents for a mortgage. Don’t fall for the most common Estate Planning Myths which prevent you from getting started.
MEN DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START
Estate planning can be overwhelming. In my book, Estate Planning for the Sandwich Generation: How to Help Your Parents and Protect Your Kids, I compare estate planning to eating an elephant. Take one bite at a time. Organize a list of assets so you know what you want to pass to others. Think about who you would like in charge of your medical and financial decisions. Make an appointment with an estate planning attorney. The small steps you take get you closer to your goal. Then it won’t be as intimidating.
An estate planning attorney can be extremely helpful in guiding what needs to be done for your specific situation. They know what questions to ask and can help with challenging situations.
MEN ARE STUCK ON CERTAIN DECISIONS
When making a will, one of the most difficult decisions to make is who should be the best guardian for young children. Read this post for tips on choosing guardians.
Another may be deciding who should be in charge of medical or financial decisions if they are incapacitated. You should choose someone who is responsible and knows you well enough to know what you would want.
Certainly, these are tough decisions. But they shouldn’t be the stumbling block to prevent you from estate planning. Make a list of pros and cons for candidates. If you still can’t come up with a clear choice, discuss it with an estate planning attorney. They will guide you through some issues that you may not have considered.
MEN THINK IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE
While there is a cost to put together a comprehensive estate plan, consider the cost for not doing so. How much are probate fees in your state? How much will your family pay in hiring a lawyer to figure out everything in probate court?
Many men would not hesitate to own a car without car insurance. Why? Because they want to be financially protected if something happens to their property. They buy the insurance even though there is no guarantee that they will need the insurance. Compare that to spending money on proper estate planning. Estate planning is the insurance that will be needed someday to protect their family and their property.
Furthermore, most estate planning attorneys do not charge for an initial consultation so you know what to expect. Take advantage of the free consultation to interview several attorneys to find the right one. Ask them for a quote for their services.
Some attorneys charge a flat fee for certain documents and others charge on an hourly basis. Julie Garber of The Balance advises in How to Know If Estate Attorney Fees Are Reasonable not to settle for the cheapest attorney. A more experienced attorney may save you money in the long run.
WOMEN NEED TO ESTATE PLAN TOO
And while this article is directed at men, women are also guilty of putting off estate planning. That is why according to a 2017 Caring.com poll, 58% of Americans don’t have a will.
In conclusion, proper estate planning provides protection for your family, preserves assets, and gives you peace of mind that you are doing the best for your family.
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